Keeping up

Staying in touch with this is more difficult than I thought it would be!
Kind of because if the time factor, there just isn't enough to see everything completed at the end of a day and a lot because of choosing what to say! I have millions of thoughts on many things throughout a week and deciding what's worth sharing is hard to keep up with when your brain is trying to simply survive the circus life of a toddler and three children.
But I'll try :)

One thing I think about a bit is Facebook. Not in a way that I miss it, but in the way it concerns me it dominates life. It's one reason I opted out of it. All of my family still have it and I'm subjected to it from my mother mostly! Which is bizarre because she is the one that was constantly on my back about it. I can't tell you how liberated it feels to not be blamed on a daily basis! If my house was untidy it was facebooks fault! Gah! Anyway, I'm prattling.
My point is, this thing is taking over the world. It is making people constantly aware of others thoughts and feelings yet isolating them at the same time. I really think its something to be used with extreme caution. And all those people that take breaks from it, know it but stay on for some reason. This thing had me so trapped, so involved. It made me cynical and mean. Judgemental and self righteous. Every day I'd comment (on the computer and in the tangible world) about other peoples lives. I thought those taking breaks we're crazy. In a way I'm sure I was worshipping Facebook.
Now people may say not everyone is that addicted, it's a good tool for staying in touch, it's a good business tool etc. All of those things I firmly believed. Now I'm not so sure. It's definitely a commitment, if you use it at all. Because if you can't walk away from a thing just like that, you're committed. And now that I'm not part of it, it seems like a bizarre thing.
I have to say though that I appreciate the lessons learned about myself, the info I found that helped me greatly at times and the people I met via, but I'm sure I didn't need it.

Now that's a thought I've had for a long time and still have a lot. I don't even know how long I've been away from fb. I do know I'll never go back.
I have this and I have instagram. Since going online in 2003, I've always stayed connected to others I wouldn't know without the Internet. I do find it strange but this the world I live in.

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This post is over two days, but not consecutively because today is the 25th already!

I've been trying to catch up on housework today and I feel like such a failure. There is so much that needs doing all of the time and we have so much stuff, its driving me insane.
I tried to cut back how many toys there are a few months ago. But it didn't help. I really feel like getting rid of about 80% of them but that seems kind of ridiculous, seeing as we spent so much on them and they might need something different to play with.

Today is just not a good day, mentally for me. I really feel suffocated by all these things and standards and my kids demanding everything (usually food, which is another contentious issue in this house!).
Thankfully the girls were able to across the road to play with the girls there for a while. I know that means I have to return the favour at some point during these school holidays, and I'm not really looking forward to that, given the way that I'm feeling.
I'm pretty bummed with myself because I had been feeling very optimistic and then suddenly everything just fell to pieces, or it felt like it did.
So many times I feel like, I hate this life of excess. I think I was born in the wrong era for sure. I would much rather have to work to get my food etc, than to work to keep the abundance of what I have in order!
I would definitely prefer a much simpler life and I really hope to have one some time soon.
Inanimate objects overwhelm me. There is always something in a place where it doesn't belong. Most of the time I do a good job of ignoring it but a lot of times it makes life feel very disrupted. When the kids can't find something they need because it wasn't put back where it belongs (usually its the hair brush). I'm so disorganised its awful.

Nothing really going on here that's interesting. I'm just trying to keep my head up and trying to keep myself moving because I've been feeling really really tired. I don't know if its physical or if its mental, but I'm really worn out.

Hmm well that's about the extent of it for now because Brandon just woke up from a very short nap :/