you what now..?

Feeling rather scattered this week, seeing as nearly all of us have been sick since Wednesday. Time has sort of stood still but not still enough that I don't realise I haven't been out of the house since Monday! Cabin fever :/
Not even outside really, because I haven't felt up to it. Maybe in a bit I will, seeing as I'm pretty much completely over it now.
Robin is recovering, he's only on the day after the total purge. Zane came down last night. Brandon has thrown up once randomly. Adria has had headaches and random tummy aches (that's really not worth much as she does when she's healthy) but so far has stayed ok.

My mind has been a million directions, thinking of the future, things I want to do. That slightly liberated feeling when your baby turns into a toddler, where things a just that tiny bit less demanding. Emphasis being on tiny bit, where Brandon is concerned!

I've also seen and heard a few things that ruffled my feathers this week. Some of them leading me to want to make big changes, that require big efforts, which for me are MAJOR deals :p I am a person who finds it hard to stick with things, if I can even get it started!
And something like homeschooling all of my kids is pretty epic for me to consider, but I am desperately aware (small baby mummy brain fog is lifting) right now of how I want their window to the world to be (as much as I can influence, being their mother) and its not anywhere near it right now. And that is kind of alarming, seeing as Krysta is 10 and Adria is super impressionable.
Much rambling that I hope to sort out some other time in the near future, because Brandon sure isn't going to accommodate me right now.

Also been thinking much more about things I want to change in our home. Mostly food wise and waste wise. We waste SO much and I'm so over it. Its been weighing on my mind for a very long time.

I feel I'm putting out scattered thoughts :(
Its been a bit of a struggle to stay positive today. I didn't sleep well last night and that never helps. I guess I was thinking too much.

Its been two weeks since I closed my account on facebook and I haven't felt so true to myself in a long long time.
I tend to get swept away in things quite a lot, but I always seem to find my way back to my own path.
In moments like this and realisations like that, I deeply miss my bestest friend. The only person who ever truly understood every thought I ever had. Everyone should know a person like that. I'm very grateful I did, but I'm forever empty she's gone.